Facebook: The Missing Manual

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Google, the iPod, spam: Only a handful of technological forces have gone from tiny to towering seemingly overnight, and Facebook can now join this elite crowd. One big reason: Setting up a Facebook account couldn't be easier. In the time it takes to say "howdy," you too can be part of the frenzy.

Then—if you like—you can fill out an optional Facebook profile, a series of questions regarding your likes, dislikes, educational and professional background, and so on. You can even include photos of yourself. The more accurately and completely you describe yourself to Facebook, the more useful you'll find the site. (After all, headhunters and old college buddies can't find you if you fake your information.) This chapter shows you how to sign up for an account, fill out your profile, and get to your personalized Facebook home page.

Of course, the more information you give Facebook, the more risk you take that someone will steal or misuse that information. See for ways to get the most out of Facebook while minimizing your risk.

Facebook accounts are free, and have only two requirements: You need a working email address, and you have to be over 13 years old. Here's how to sign up:

Point your favorite Web browser towww.facebook.com. If you're on a Windows computer, you'll get best results with Internet Explorer or Firefox. If you're on a Mac, use Firefox or Safari. (If you're not familiar with Firefox, check out www.firefox.com.)

Figure :

You probably don't want to sign up for Facebook using your cellphone—there's quite a bit of typing involved—but in a pinch you can; see .
Click the green Sign Up button.
Fill out all the fields on the Sign Up page that appears. Facebook doesn't let you skip any fields, but you can change your answers later ().

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Facebook accounts are free, and have only two requirements: You need a working email address, and you have to be over 13 years old. Here's how to sign up:

Point your favorite Web browser towww.facebook.com. If you're on a Windows computer, you'll get best results with Internet Explorer or Firefox. If you're on a Mac, use Firefox or Safari. (If you're not familiar with Firefox, check out www.firefox.com.)

Figure :

You probably don't want to sign up for Facebook using your cellphone—there's quite a bit of typing involved—but in a pinch you can; see .
Click the green Sign Up button.
Fill out all the fields on the Sign Up page that appears. Facebook doesn't let you skip any fields, but you can change your answers later ().
- Full Name. Facebook expects you to use your real name, not an alias. Don't type in the name of a group or company, and don't include special characters (like parentheses) or titles such as Mr., Ms., or Dr.
  
  If you like, after you finish the sign-up process you can add your maiden name to your account so people you knew before you got hitched can find you. To do so: At the top of any Facebook page, click the "edit" link, and then click the Relationships tab and type your full maiden name in the Former Name field. Click the Save Changes button when you're done.
  
  Figure :
  
  For the most part, it's up to you whether or not you give Facebook accurate personal details. But Facebook actually uses a combination of computer programs and real, live humans to weed out obviously bogus registration details. Type in Elvis Presley or Mickey Mouse for your full name, for example, and there's a good chance your registration won't go through.

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A Facebook profile is a collection of facts about you: everything from where you went to school and how old you are, to what kind of romantic relationship you're in (or hope to be in) and your favorite TV shows. All your Facebook friends and fellow network members can see your profile details (except for the Facebook members you explicitly exclude; see ).

Facebook automatically creates a bare-bones profile for you based on the info you entered when registering. Whether or not you add additional details—and how much you add—is up to you.

If you do decide to flesh out your profile, brevity and truthfulness pay off by helping Facebook connect you with like-minded folks. That's because Facebook automatically lists your profile answers in the search results other members see. The site can also suggest potential "friends" by matching your profile answers with those of other members (see ).

When polishing your profile, ask yourself:

What do I want to get out of Facebook? If you just want to check out your ex-spouse's Facebook profile, you don't need to waste time crafting one of your own. But if you hope to use Facebook to do some networking and land a job, spending some time and effort building your profile is definitely worth the effort.
How security-conscious am I? Although Facebook's success is based, in part, on its scrupulous commitment to member privacy, the sad truth is that everything you put on the Internet is subject to possible misuse and theft—including what's in your Facebook profile. Think twice about including political, religious, sexual, and other sensitive proclivities unless revealing these details is absolutely necessary. For example, if you registered for Facebook specifically to connect with other political activists in your area, fill out the political section of your profile. Otherwise, skip it.
How much time do I want to spend on this? Profile building can be a huge time suck. If you're anxious to start using Facebook, just add a few details now. You can always add more later ().

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After you've registered with Facebook, Facebook creates a home page just for you. To see it:

In your Web browser, go towww.facebook.com. You see a generic welcome page with a spot for you to log in to Facebook on the left.

Figure :
Log in. If you always access Facebook from the same computer, you may find your email address already appears in the Email field. If not, type in the email address and password you gave Facebook when you registered, and then click the Login button.

Think twice before turning on the "Remember me" checkbox. If you do, your browser will stay logged in to Facebook until you specifically remember to log out. If you forget to log out, family members, co-workers, fellow library patrons, or anyone else who uses the computer after you log in to Facebook can access your account. It's better to type a few digits.
After you finish your Facebook session, click the "logout" link in the upper-right part of any Facebook screen. Doing so prevents other folks from getting into your profile and designating you as looking for "Whatever I can get".

Figure :

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Some of the information you share with Facebook—like your password and, optionally, your credit card number, for example—isn't for public consumption. Because these details are between you and Facebook, they're not part of your profile, but are part of your Facebook account.

To change your account details:

At the top of any Facebook screen, click the "account" link.
In the window that appears, make sure the Settings tab is selected.

Figure :
Click the link next to one or more of the following fields:
- Name. If your name changes after you register with Facebook—due to a marriage or divorce, for example—you can update it instead of canceling your membership and re-registering. One caveat: Because Facebook runs your name change through security checks to spot potential fraud, your name change won't take effect immediately. (Think days, not hours.)
- Contact Email. If your email address changes, you need to let Facebook know.
  
  Depending on how much you use Facebook, your email inbox might be swamped with emails telling you to log in to Facebook and check your Facebook messages. If this happens to you, consider getting a new email address just for your Facebook account. You can get a free email address from sites like www.yahoo.com or www.google.com.
- Password. For security reasons, you have to type in your old password, and then type in your new password twice.
- Credit Cards. You don't need to bother filling in your credit card information until you're ready to pay Facebook for a gift () or some form of advertising (page 177).

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What Facebook does best is track connections between people who've joined the site. The easiest way to make a bunch of Facebook connections in one fell swoop is to join a network—a group of people who have something in common: graduates and current attendees of a particular school, fellow employees at a company, residents of a town, and so on. Joining a network takes a lot of the grunt work out of finding interesting real-world groups and events, shopping for local stuff, and contacting real-life friends and co-workers. You can't just join any ol' network, though—there are some restrictions, as this chapter explains. And if you want to create a new network, you can suggest it to Facebook. Read on for the full scoop.

A Facebook network is simply a group of people who live, work, or go to school in the same place. You'll probably want to join at least one network as soon as you register, because until you do, the only folks whose profiles you can see are those you specifically tell Facebook you want to be friends with (see ), and the only events and groups you can see are "global" ones—which is about as exciting as reading through the New York Times want ads when you live in L.A.

You can't see a network member's profile until you join that network, but you can see a few public details, such as the member's profile pictures and friends.

When you join a network, two things happen:

You get immediate access to the Facebook profiles of all fellow network members, as well as access to the network's groups, events, market listings, and other goodies. There are a few exceptions. Some Facebook members choose to hide their profiles, and some groups and events are restricted, too (see ). But you still get access to a mountain of dishy details—all of which are potentially useful and interesting to you, because you have something big in common with all the other network members: the city you live in, the school you go to, or the company you work for.

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A Facebook network is simply a group of people who live, work, or go to school in the same place. You'll probably want to join at least one network as soon as you register, because until you do, the only folks whose profiles you can see are those you specifically tell Facebook you want to be friends with (see ), and the only events and groups you can see are "global" ones—which is about as exciting as reading through the New York Times want ads when you live in L.A.

You can't see a network member's profile until you join that network, but you can see a few public details, such as the member's profile pictures and friends.

When you join a network, two things happen:

You get immediate access to the Facebook profiles of all fellow network members, as well as access to the network's groups, events, market listings, and other goodies. There are a few exceptions. Some Facebook members choose to hide their profiles, and some groups and events are restricted, too (see ). But you still get access to a mountain of dishy details—all of which are potentially useful and interesting to you, because you have something big in common with all the other network members: the city you live in, the school you go to, or the company you work for.

After you've joined a network or two, you can home in on people who share a common interest (such as Oprah fans, marathon runners, or needle felters) by creating or joining a Facebook group. See for the skinny on groups.

Figure :
Everybody else in the network can look up your profile information—including a running list of all the things you've been doing in Facebook. Network members can also see your hometown, your political views, your contact email address, and everything else you added to your profile. And by viewing the mini-feed (a running list of your activities on Facebook) that automatically shows up on your profile, they can also see that an hour ago you uploaded a picture, half an hour ago you joined a group, and two minutes ago you received a gift.

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Maybe you've already joined a network. (You may have, depending on the selection you chose from the "I am" drop-down list when you registered for Facebook; see page 3.) Maybe you can't remember if you have or you haven't. To see which networks you've already joined, do one of the following:

At the top of any Facebook screen, click the down arrow next to Networks to see a list of the networks you're in.

Figure :
At the top of any Facebook screen, click Networks to see a tabbed page for each of the networks you're in.

Figure :

Facebook automatically adds the Global network (see the next section for info on that unexclusive club) to everybody's account, but it doesn't appear in your list or in its own tabbed page. You see the Global network only when you go to join a group or event.

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When you register, Facebook automatically assigns you to the not-super-useful Global network, which gives you access to globally organized groups and events. But you definitely want to join at least one more network. Technically, you can belong to as many as five different networks, but if you're like most people, two or three (a regional network plus a network for your work, school, or both) fills the bill. Anyone can join a regional network (like the one for Denver, CO, for example), but you have to have a company-issued email address to join a company's network, and a school-issued email address to join a school's network.

For security reasons, you can't join multiple regional networks (meaning, you can't tell Facebook you live both in Phoenix and Miami) and you can't switch networks every two minutes, either. In fact, Facebook limits you to two changes per network per two-month period—and if you actually change that often, your account may be flagged by Facebook's fraud-sniffers. So when you choose a network, make sure it's the one you really want.

To join a network:

At the top of any Facebook screen, click the down arrow next to Networks.

Figure :
In the drop-down list that appears, click "Join a Network".

You can't just join any old network—you have to have a valid email address that matches the workplace, college, or high school network you want to join. For example, if your email address is frank_furter@ibm.com, Facebook lets you join the IBM workplace network. If your email address is guy_wire@asu.edu, Facebook lets you join the Arizona State University college network.

Fortunately, you're not limited to one email address (and therefore one network). You can join multiple networks as long as you have multiple valid email addresses — for example, an email address from the school where you picked up your undergrad degree, one from the school where you transferred to get your master's, and one from your employer. To join additional networks, follow the steps in this section, once through for each email address you have.

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Maybe you work for a small company or live in a tiny backwater town. If you check Facebook's network listings and don't see a network that describes where you go to school, live, or work, you can ask Facebook to add your school, region, or company to its network listings. Just follow these steps:

At the top of any Facebook screen, click the down arrow next to Networks.
From the drop-down list, choose Browse All Networks.

Figure :
On the page that appears, make sure the Regions tab is selected. If it's not, click to select it.
Scroll to the bottom of the page and click "Suggest a new network".

Figure :
Choose a network type (High School, College, Work, or Region) from the drop-down list and fill out the fields that appear.

Figure :
When you're done, click Submit. Because actual people need to approve your request, expect to wait a few days or even weeks for Facebook to get back to you. (There's no guarantee they'll approve your request, but if your network suggestion is reasonable, you'll probably get a thumbs-up.)

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In real life, your social network consists not just of people who live in your town and work or study where you do, but also of people you've formed one-on-one relationships with: teachers, ex-sisters-in-law, bowling buddies, and so on. It's the same with Facebook: You start with a network of school or work buddies (see ), and then add friends one at a time. You can even use Facebook to look up old friends and find new ones.

Why would you want to enlarge your Facebook social circle? Well, having friends is really the whole point of joining Facebook. You get to swap life-in-progress tidbits (both serious and silly), share what you're reading, play online games...the list is endless. But first you need to gather your pals. Read on to learn how.

In the world of Facebook, a friend is any Facebook member who has agreed that you two have something in common. Maybe you play on the same softball team, volunteer at the local animal shelter together, or keep running into each other at parties thrown by the same ex-roommate. Maybe you dated, took a road trip together, or you're second cousins twice removed. How you know a Facebook friend doesn't matter; all that matters is that you both agree that you know each other.

Facebook has no way of verifying the relationships between friends. But one of the major differences between Facebook and MySpace.com—the other big social networking site—is that Facebook strongly encourages truthfulness. So, while having a zillion "friends" is considered a status symbol on MySpace, it's not on Facebook. On Facebook, the goal of friends is to put together a manageable list of people you actually know—and actually care about keeping up with.

Two people become Facebook friends when one person extends an invitation and the other person accepts, or confirms. When you become friends with someone in Facebook, three things happen:

You appear on your friend'sFriend List() and on her profile page (and vice versa). On Facebook, as in life, you're known by the company you keep: Everyone with access to your friend's profile (or yours) can see the relationship between the two of you. And with the click of a mouse, folks can hop from your friend's profile to yours, or from your profile to your friend's.

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In the world of Facebook, a friend is any Facebook member who has agreed that you two have something in common. Maybe you play on the same softball team, volunteer at the local animal shelter together, or keep running into each other at parties thrown by the same ex-roommate. Maybe you dated, took a road trip together, or you're second cousins twice removed. How you know a Facebook friend doesn't matter; all that matters is that you both agree that you know each other.

Facebook has no way of verifying the relationships between friends. But one of the major differences between Facebook and MySpace.com—the other big social networking site—is that Facebook strongly encourages truthfulness. So, while having a zillion "friends" is considered a status symbol on MySpace, it's not on Facebook. On Facebook, the goal of friends is to put together a manageable list of people you actually know—and actually care about keeping up with.

Two people become Facebook friends when one person extends an invitation and the other person accepts, or confirms. When you become friends with someone in Facebook, three things happen:

You appear on your friend'sFriend List() and on her profile page (and vice versa). On Facebook, as in life, you're known by the company you keep: Everyone with access to your friend's profile (or yours) can see the relationship between the two of you. And with the click of a mouse, folks can hop from your friend's profile to yours, or from your profile to your friend's.

One of the best, most addictive things about Facebook is its confessional nature. Facebook profiles encourage members to pontificate at length about subjects that don't often come up in polite conversation. So, when you're friends with someone in Facebook, you might be surprised at the juicy details you learn about them.

Figure :

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Before you can make someone your friend, you first have to find that person on Facebook. The site gives you three different ways to do this:

You can look up real-life friends and acquaintances who are already Facebook members.
You can invite real-life friends and acquaintances who aren't on Facebook yet to join the site.
You can search for Facebook members you've never met but who share your interests (such as a background in server-side technology or a passion for container gardening).

Some of your real-life friends and acquaintances might already be Facebook members. To find them, use one of the following search methods:

Search for Facebook members by name. In the Search field on the left side of any Facebook screen, type the name of the person you're looking for and hit Return. Facebook displays all the matches (and near-matches) it finds in all networks. If you see a ton of matches, click the People tab so your list won't be cluttered with groups or events that happen to match your search criteria. To narrow your search to a single network, choose a network from the "Show results from" drop-down list. To narrow it down by sex, age, or relationship status, click the blue Show More Filters link.

Figure :

In Facebook, clickable links are blue. If one of the names you see in the search results (or on your friends list, or anywhere else in Facebook) is blue, then clicking it takes you straight to that person's profile.

Figure :
Search for Facebook members who are classmates, ex-classmates, or co-workers. On the left side of any Facebook screen, click the down arrow next to the word Search and choose Find Classmates or Find Coworkers. In the fields that appear, type in either the name of the school and graduating year of the class you're looking for, or the name of a company. Then type in the name of the person you're looking for and click "Search for".

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You can't just add people to your Friend List willy-nilly; they have to be Facebook members already, and they have to agree to be added.

shows you how to invite non-Facebook members to join the site.

To invite a Facebook member to be your friend:

Search for the person you want to befriend (see ).

If you send a friend request to someone who can't normally see your profile—they're not in your network, for example—Facebook temporarily grants that person access to your profile so she can make an informed decision about whether or not to accept your invitation. If you don't want folks to have this temporary access, you can remove or customize it: On the Facebook main menu, click "privacy", and then click "Poke, Message and Friend Request" (see ).
If your search returns the person you're looking for, click the "Add [member] as a Friend link" you see just below the profile picture. If you don't find the person you're looking for, you can send her an invitation to join Facebook ().

Figure :
Fill out the confirmation box that appears and then click Add Friend. When you do, Facebook automatically sends an invitation to your would-be friend's email address and posts a friend request to her Facebook profile (). If your friend agrees to the friendship and responds either to the email or the Facebook request (), Facebook adds your name to her list of friends, and her name to yours. Facebook also sends you a notification (see ).

If you don't see the Add Friend link, it's because the person you're trying to befriend has adjusted her privacy settings to block friend requests. See for details.

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When someone tries to add you to her Friend List, two things happen: Facebook sends you an email invitation, and it posts a little notice on your profile telling you that you have a friend request.

At that point, you've got two choices: You can confirm the request or ignore it, either in Facebook or right from your email program.

If you're the type of person who checks her email every hour (or every five minutes) but only logs onto Facebook every couple of days, you'll want to handle friend requests from inside your email program. Here's how:

Look in your email program for a message with the subject "[Somebody] added you as a friend on Facebook".

Figure :
Open the email message and click the confirmation link. Doing so whisks you to the Facebook page where you can confirm your friendship (see the next section).

Some people log in to Facebook whenever they're in front of a computer. If you're one of them, it's easier to respond to friend requests from your Facebook home page than to fire up your email program and wade through your inbox looking for invitations. To confirm a friend request from inside Facebook:

Surf to your Facebook home page (click the "home" link in the upper-right part of your screen) and click the "friend request" link. Friend requests appear on the upper-right side of your home page under Requests. (If you don't have any friend requests, you won't see any listed under Requests.)

Figure :
Make sure you want to accept the request, and then click Confirm. If you've never heard of the person, the message he sent doesn't make sense, and the two of you have no friends in common, then you probably want to click the person's name and check out his profile to make sure the request is on the up-and-up.

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Facebook automatically displays six randomly selected friends from your primary network () in the Friends section of your profile.

Figure :

To see more than these six friends listed on your profile—or to see more details about each of your friends—you've got a few options. You can:

See all of your friends at one fell swoop. To do so, head to the Friends section of your profile and click the See All link. When you do, Facebook displays your All Friends list. (If you know you have more friends than Facebook displays, make sure the Everyone tab is selected.) Another way to see your All Friends list is to head to the top of any Facebook screen, click the down arrow next to Friends, and then click All Friends.

Figure :
See friends who've changed their profiles lately. From your All Friends list, click the Recently Updated tab. (Alternatively, head to the top of any Facebook page and click Friends.)
See friends who've updated their statuses recently. From your All Friends list, click the Status Updates tab to see your friends' late-breaking statuses.
See friends who are online right this minute. From your All Friends list, click the "More..." tab. Then, from the Show drop-down list, choose Online Now.

Figure :
See your friends broken out by the network they belong to, or whether they're college friends, work friends, or friends who live close to you. From your All Friends list, click the "More..." tab. Then, from the Show drop-down list, choose a specific network (to see friends who belong to that network), College Friends (to see friends who belong to college networks), Work Friends (to see friends who belong to work-related networks), of Regional Friends (to see friends who belong to geographical networks).

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The options Facebook gives you for viewing your friends () are great if you have only a handful of pals. But if you're a hardcore social butterfly with dozens or even hundreds of friends, you'll want to organize your friends into separate lists that reflect how you categorize them in your mind.

For example, imagine that in addition to your workplace network, you're involved in a book club, a softball league, and a 12-step program. Creating four separate lists lets you keep track of your different social circles at a glance. And because Facebook lets you send the same message to all the friends on a single list all at once (see ) and even invite everyone on the list to join the same group (page 103) or event (119), creating separate Friend Lists helps you communicate with folks quicker while reducing the risk of having your worlds collide.

Facebook lets you create up to 100 different Friend Lists, each of which can contain up to 1,500 names. (Of course, unless you're a politician, you probably won't need anywhere near that many.) Here's how to create a new Friend List:

Head to the top of any Facebook page and click Friends. Head to the right side of the page that appears and click "Make a New List" ().

Because lists were designed to help you manage a bunch of friends, you don't see the "Make a New List" link unless you have 11 or more Facebook friends.

Figure :
In the field that appears, type in a name for your list and hit Return. In the example on the next page, the list's name is moms.

Figure :
Add the names of some friends to your list. The easiest way is to click the Select Multiple Friends link and then, from the list of thumbnails that appears, click the friends you want to add to your list. (Clicking a thumbnail once turns it blue to let you know you've selected it; clicking again de-selects it.) When you finish, click Save List. Your newly created list appears on the All Friends page beneath the Friend Lists heading.

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If you have a lot of Facebook friends (or a bad memory), you might be interested in viewing your social timeline. A social timeline is simply a list of your Facebook friends arranged chronologically by when you met—based on the relationship details you've given Facebook (page 47)—accompanied by how-we-met details. Viewing your social timeline is easy and kind of fun. At the top of any Facebook screen, click the down arrow next to Friends, and then choose All Friends. Then click the "More..." tab and, from the Show drop-down list, select Social Timeline.

From Facebook's point of view, understanding how people connect is incredibly useful (all the better to sell you stuff, my dear—see page 177). From your point of view, looking at your social timeline is like looking through shoeboxes of old pictures. You're not going to want to do it every day, but every once in a blue moon you may find it interesting to browse through your timeline and settle a bet over which of two friends you met first, or realize that you tend to connect with people based only on one or two shared interests.

Looking at your social timeline will be about as interesting as watching paint dry unless you have a lot of Facebook friends and you (or your friends) have been diligent about providing Facebook with relationship details (page 47).

Because your social timeline is basically a list of relationship details, you have to cough up some details before you can see your timeline. If you or your friends didn't enter relationship details during the befriending process (page 47), no sweat—you can add them any time. Here's how:

At the top of any Facebook screen, click the down arrow next to Friends, and then click All Friends to display your Friend List.

Figure :

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Breaking up is never easy, but sometimes it has to be done. Say one of your Facebook friends stabs you in the electronic back by posting inappropriate stuff on your wall () or spamming all your other friends, and you really have no choice but to cut him loose. To remove someone from your Friend List:

From your Friend List (), click the name or photo of the person you want to "unfriend." Facebook pops up the person's profile.
Scroll down to the bottom of the profile and click the "Remove from Friends" link. (You don't see this link on profiles of non-friends.) You're friends no more.

Unlike quietly ignoring a friend request, removing someone from your Friend List sends a clear message. Because Facebook friendship is reciprocal, removing a friend means you disappear from your former friend's Friend List—an unmistakable rebuff.

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Just like your email program, Facebook lets you send private messages to other Facebook members. Great, you're probably thinking, just what I need: yet another inbox to check. But before you skip ahead to the next chapter, you might want to give these tools a chance. First off, Facebook makes exchanging messages dead simple—even easier than regular email. And then there are the slightly zany—but slightly addictive—ways to keep in touch with others that no email program can match. In an effort to mimic the different ways we interact with each other in real life, Facebook lets you poke (give a virtual "hey, how ya doin'?'" wave to) friends; write on their virtual message boards; and even send whimsical digital gifts. Even if you're not persuaded by any of this, it's still worth understanding the messaging system since, soon enough, you'll no doubt get a Facebook message from one of your own friends.

Lots of Web sites offer free Web-based email, and Facebook is one of them—sort of. As a Facebook member, you can send private messages to any other Facebook member (whether or not they're on your Friend List), and to regular email addresses. But only other Facebook members can send you Facebook messages. In other words, when you register for Facebook, you don't get a YourName@Facebook.com email account; people have to sign up for Facebook and follow the steps below if they want to send a message to your Facebook inbox.

Facebook temporarily grants your message recipients limited access to your profile, even if they normally can't see it (because, for example, you've blocked them [see ]). To prevent or customize this temporary access, mouse up to the top-right part of any Facebook screen, click "privacy", and then click "Poke, Message and Friend Request" (see page 230 for the details).

Most of the messages you send, of course, will be to people you already know. Facebook gives you a simple set of tools that will look familiar to anyone who's used email before. Here's what you do:

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Lots of Web sites offer free Web-based email, and Facebook is one of them—sort of. As a Facebook member, you can send private messages to any other Facebook member (whether or not they're on your Friend List), and to regular email addresses. But only other Facebook members can send you Facebook messages. In other words, when you register for Facebook, you don't get a YourName@Facebook.com email account; people have to sign up for Facebook and follow the steps below if they want to send a message to your Facebook inbox.

Facebook temporarily grants your message recipients limited access to your profile, even if they normally can't see it (because, for example, you've blocked them [see ]). To prevent or customize this temporary access, mouse up to the top-right part of any Facebook screen, click "privacy", and then click "Poke, Message and Friend Request" (see page 230 for the details).

Most of the messages you send, of course, will be to people you already know. Facebook gives you a simple set of tools that will look familiar to anyone who's used email before. Here's what you do:

At the top of any Facebook screen, click the down arrow next to Inbox, and then click Compose Message on the drop-down menu. Or, you can click the word Inbox and then click the Compose Message tab on the right side of the page that appears.

Figure :
On the Compose Message page, start typing your friend's name (if she's a Facebook member), email address (for non-Facebook members), or the name of a Friend List (). As soon as you begin typing, Facebook displays a list of your friends and Friend Lists. To select a name, click it or use the up and down arrow keys to select the name, and then hit Enter. If you're sending a message to a non-Facebook member, simply type in the person's full email address. You can add multiple recipients, if you like; just hit the Tab key after each recipient, and Facebook takes care of the rest. (See for more on sending messages to multiple people.)

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When someone sends you a message via Facebook, two things happen:

You receive the message in your Facebook inbox. To open your inbox, head to the main menu and click Inbox. Then click either the subject line or the first line of any message to see it in its entirety, as shown on .
You receive the message in your regular email program. Facebook sends the message to your primary email address.

Your primary email address is the one you used when you registered for the site (unless you've changed it since then). To change your primary email address, at the top of any Facebook screen, click the "account" link, and then click Contact Email.

Figure :

If you spend a lot of time on the site and regularly check your Facebook inbox, you don't really need to have Facebook messages sent to your regular email address, too. To make it so you only receive Facebook messages in your Facebook inbox, head to the Email Notifications page (just follow the "Want to control which emails you receive from Facebook?" link at the bottom of any email Facebook sent to your regular email address) and turn off the checkbox next to "Sends me a message".

Figure :

It's easy to tell if you have a new Facebook message even without opening your inbox. Just take a look the blue main menu bar at the top of any Facebook screen. If you see a number in parentheses right after the word Inbox, you've got a new message (or two, or more). Click Inbox, and a list of messages appears.

Figure :

Facebook puts a big blue dot in front of any message you haven't read yet, and highlights the entire listing in light blue. You can choose to see a list of only the messages you've already read, only the ones you

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Poking sounds a lot more provocative than it is. Giving someone a poke in Facebook is nothing more than the electronic equivalent of asking someone, "Hey, what's up?" Pokes appear as a "You were poked by [name]" message on the recipient's home page.

Poking—like sneaking up behind someone and tapping her shoulder—isn't really good for much beyond the yuk factor. Depending on you and your pals' tolerance for friendly nudging, poking either gets the award for Silliest Social Aid or Most Annoying Thing Ever. If you're in the latter camp, you'll find notifications () similar but more useful.

Figure :

You can poke any Facebook member you like; you don't have to be friends with the pokee or belong to the same network. But if you poke someone who doesn't normally have access to your profile, be aware that he'll be able to see your profile for a week post-poke—unless you explicitly tell Facebook otherwise (see page 230). But letting a pokee see your profile is rarely a problem. After all, if you're that worried somebody might discover your passion for the Bay City Rollers, you shouldn't poke him in the first place.

To poke someone:

Find the person you want to poke by viewing your Friend List () or using Facebook's Search box ().
Click the "Poke Her!" (or "Poke Him!") link on the intended recipient's profile () or on your Friend List (). (On your Friend List, you have to expand the person's listing [see page 55], and the link simply reads "Poke".)

Figure :
If a security box appears, type in the Security Check words, and then click Poke. You briefly see a "You have poked [name]" message, and the damage is done: Your poke message appears on the pokee's home page, complete with a link she can use to poke you back.

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