63rd Gear—Why Being Social Matters

Do you like coffee shops? How about going to a great dinner with a group of friends? That's what 3rd gear is all about, being social. Now some of you reading this will resound with a quick “Yes” to my initial question. Others of you are considering skipping to the next chapter. Please don't. If you are the type of person who gets stuck in 4th and 5th gear, I encourage you to give 3rd gear a chance. What you learn might just change the way you work or communicate.

Let's start with some examples of what 3rd gear actually looks like:

  • Lunch with Colleagues—Conversations that are not dominated by work projects or tasks, but are a mix of humor, small talk, life, and a bit of work.
  • Weekend Party—Time with friends or family around the pool, or a relaxed, casual barbeque with neighbors or friends.
  • Round of Golf—Taking time with friends or clients to change the scenery and get to know each other better.
  • After Work Gathering—Spending time with co-workers celebrating a birthday or special event.
  • Game Night—Laughing, playing, and enjoying the company of a group of people, like your family or friends.
  • Meal with Friends or Family—Breakfast, lunch, or dinner with a close group of buddies or friends.

3rd gear is a mindset. It is the space between task-driven, hyperfocused work and the no-work, relational connection of being with your family, spouse, or close friend. That in-between space can be onerous to manage. For some, work is comfortable. That is where ...

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