Amplify Your Influence

4Self-Awareness and Discovery

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”

—Socrates

Most conversations about influence revolve around Jedi mind tricks, persuasion, and delivering a keynote speech to a large crowd. Those conversations are interesting but not really related to the work of becoming a powerful influencer. That work begins inside each of us.

The No. 1 skill of a leader is self-awareness. Every reputable leadership course teaches it, and every top leader exhibits it. Self-awareness is the power that enables us to effect change in our own lives and the lives of those around us.

A Closer Look

Self-awareness is more than the ability to understand how our behavior and actions affect others. It is about identifying personal idiosyncrasies, those characteristics that we assume are the norm but which actually represent the exception.

The Disconnect

These idiosyncrasies are important because when there is a disconnect, a leader cannot connect with their teams or a speaker cannot connect with their audiences. For example, a speaker gives trite advice from a stage such as, “Just move on” or “Get over it,” and the audience cheers.

Often, the speaker doesn't take into account that not everyone has the same ability to overcome or simply move on from adversity. Even worse, some people in the audience might not have those options. When that happens, the speaker comes across as tone-deaf—oblivious to the real feelings of their audience.

The Bottom Line

Self-awareness isn't ...