Amplify Your Influence

11Interpersonal Communication: LOVE and Other Things

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

—George Bernard Shaw, Irish playwright and author¹

Not everyone wants to stand up in front of hundreds or thousands of people and influence them with a message. But all of us want to influence someone one-on-one. Whether it's a parent trying to connect with a child, a teacher to a student, manager to employee, potential suitor to a person of interest, CEO to their company's teams, or a sales professional to a prospect, mastering the art of conversation has a massive impact on relationships and the ability to influence.

Unfortunately, the skill of how to be a good conversationalist has become a lost art form for many. The professionals we work with often want to know more and better ways to connect and converse with others. That's why I've developed a natural sequence on how to connect with others comfortably. When we master this art, we can take a cold relationship and warm it relatively quickly.

A powerful sequence that follows what the best communicators do is all about LOVE. That's an acronym for:

• Listen;
• Observe;
• Validate;
• Expand.

Before we get into LOVE, let's look more closely at communication itself.

The Communication Challenge

Communication is part of every human interaction. That's why people want to become better communicators. But communication is tough. And as we've mentioned, it's even tougher under stress. Yet many of ...