Balance is B.S.

CHAPTER 16Territory versus Tribe: How to foster friendships that bring out your best

When we talk about “community,” we're often thinking about “territory.”

We think that “community” means knowing your neighbors or being in the PTA at your kids' school. And if that's meaningful for you, that's great. But I don't think about my community in terms of how far away or close they are. I measure it in terms of the value people bring to my life.

Community means “being together as one.” It's whatever makes you feel that.

A NEW WAY TO EXPERIENCE COMMUNITY

People talk about finding your tribe, which is just finding like-minded people who share your values. My tribe is entrepreneurs. My tribe is people who challenge me. If I'm not a little fish, I'm not happy. I'm driven by feeling out of my depth. So I'm probably not going to find my tribe in the street where I live. My people are all over the world.

It might seem like a difficult thing to stay connected, because of the distance, but I don't look at it that way. I think about travel time versus wasted time, the time you waste by choosing mediocre. I've set up my life so that my offices, my girls' school, and the airport are all within 10 minutes' drive of my home. I'm not commuting every day like some people are. I refuse to commute because I can't commit to spending two hours every day in transit. But I can bundle that time and choose to use it for travel time when it suits me. I can't commit to a daily commute, but I can commit to ...