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Better Parents, Better Spouses, Better People by Daniel J. Siegel, Daniel Goleman

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Parenting Styles

 

Goleman: Let’s get back to the parenting styles. You talked about the avoidant or avoiding style. What are the others?

Siegel: So, after the avoidant type of attachment, then we have something called the anxious-ambivalent attachment relationship. This is where the parent has been offering either inconsistent attunement to the child, or intrusive attunement. Where they take their own internal states and intrude them. An example would be, let’s say a child is hungry and let’s say the parent, because of their own background, is worried that they won’t be a good parent, worried that they’ll never provide enough nurturance for the child. So when the child shows hunger, instead of just getting that bottle and feeding, the parent gets ...

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