Better Your Life (Collection)

Day Nineteen. Don’t Be Submissive; Don’t Be an Underdog

A person playing a submissive role acquiesces to the domination of another or others to get something he or she egocentrically values—such as a sense of security, a feeling of protection, or a chance for advancement. These people exchange their freedom to achieve these ends (real or imagined). The submissive person, or “underdog,” learns the art of helplessness. Characteristics typically include servility, or subservience, often accompanied by feelings of inferiority, inadequacy, and resentment. The underdog gains some indirect influence over the top dog through flattering subservience. Ironically, clever underdogs sometimes “control” unskillful top dogs. Submitters, like dominators, can ...