Chapter 1. Does it evoke an emotional response?

You don't know how you got there, but there you are, on a grassy hill overlooking a dark but strangely active valley. The wind gently carries the distinct fragrance of scorched earth past you while a constant hum rises to the sky. You're also on a horse, which is equally odd because you haven't the slightest idea what to do should the horse decide to move (screaming like a little girl while you bear hug your steed's neck seems inappropriate considering the apparent rank you've inherited as evidenced by your lofty perch). As you look down into the valley, all five of your senses take in the epic scene simultaneously: a battle. But this battle seems peculiar to you. While there are clearly opposing forces engaged in combat, the weapons seem to be more appropriate to an office insurrection than a battleground. The combatants are wielding newspapers and magazines, waving car stereos and handheld mobile devices. Dear god, they are hurling Internets at each other, lobbing popular sitcoms and attacking with loaded tablet PCs. The ammunition? Bullet ... points. At least from one side. The bullet points seem to be ... yes, they're features and benefits of products and services. One guy just flung a price violator at another guy and hit him with the "only" hanging off the end. Horrific.

On the other side, it looks like they're assaulting with something quite different. They're arming themselves with laughter, some dude over there is crying, and ...

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