Coach Me! Your Personal Board of Directors

17 Managing Our Out-of-Control Feelings

Jonathan Passmore

Jonathan is editor-in-chief of the International Coaching Psychology Review and Chair of BPS Division of Coaching Psychology (2021–2022). He is Senior Vice President CoachHub, and Professor of Coaching and Behavioural change at Henley Business School, UK. He has published widely with over 100 scientific papers and 30 books. His latest titles include: The Coaches Handbook, Becoming a Coach: The Essential ICF Guide, and CoachMe: My Personal Board of Directors. He is one of the most cited coaching researchers worldwide, has won multiple awards for his work, and is listed in the Coaching Global Gurus top 20 coaches (2021).

Sameet called to ask me about a problem in his senior team. Sameet explained, “We have a serious problem on our hand. I can’t have my team throwing staplers across the room at their staff.”

Sameet and I had a good relationship after I worked as his coach before his promotion to Managing Director. Since his appointment, Sameet has been slowly restructuring the business, and in the last year, he appointed a new communications director, Steve.

Steve came with a record of success from his previous role, and the early months passed without incident. But Sameet noticed in several senior team meetings the generally collegiate engagement had become more bruising. If Steve held a strong view, he brought a challenging engagement style to the meeting, quickly losing his temper. But nothing had prepared Sameet for ...