CHAPTER 3

The Primary Sources of Conflict: It Ain’t About Chemistry

Before trying to resolve a conflict, it is useful to understand what is causing it. Many conflicts are prolonged or inflamed, even when we make good faith efforts to resolve them, because we have misdiagnosed the cause of the conflict.

To begin, it is helpful to understand that all conflicts can be broken down into two basic types: Substantive and Personal.

Substantive conflicts are about how something is done, about the goals you want to achieve, about values that you believe should guide behavior, or about the information that people have. They are generally external to the people involved in the conflict. In many cases they are easy to identify. However, in the case of values, ...

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