Curve Benders

Chapter 6Curve Bending in the Lives of Others

From what we get, we can make a living. From what we give, we can make a life.

– Arthur Ashe, professional tennis player

There is an old Persian proverb about a man who walks into a village. He asks three men who are weaving a basket what they are doing. The first replied that he is weaving. The second says that he is making a basket. The last one says he is helping feed a family by making a basket to carry bread. The story's moral breaks down the fundamental difference between a task, an output, and a purpose.

I'm often perplexed when I meet brilliant, highly educated, and successful-by-all-measure leaders who cannot articulate a compelling life purpose. Years ago, I read John Maxwell's framework of the challenges we face as we evolve. We go through five phases: survival, security, stability, success, and, finally, significance.¹

Early in most of our professional lives, we're in survival mode like hunter-gatherers. We focus on extending our educational foundation, developing our professional pedigree, starting a family, and passing our beliefs and values to our children. In the security and stability phases, our drive is to regularly accumulate, achieve, and accelerate a path forward. We're busy building our homes, raising our kids, and climbing the ladders of our careers. We sacrifice time with loved ones in the constant pursuit of “success” in our professional lives. We miss out on the parts of life that are important and ...