Dealing with the Tough Stuff: How to Achieve Results from Crucial Conversations

Chapter 1

What's your tough stuff? Getting clear on what's tough for you

The question is not, ‘Will you participate in something that involves others?’

The question is ‘Will your involvement with others be successful?’

John Maxwell, best-selling author and leadership expert

Leadership can be a lonely place at times. Sure, there are few experiences more enjoyable than leading people towards great outcomes for both themselves and your organisation, but then there's the other side of leadership. There are the times when you won't see eye to eye with others. Conflict is inevitable. That's when the loneliness of leadership truly presents itself. It certainly is a tough gig being responsible for dealing with the tough stuff.

It is worth taking the time to be clear on what the tough stuff is for you—those crucial conversations that you have to have at work that you would like to do better: what are they for you?

Each of us has a unique set of skills, abilities and experiences that we bring to any tough conversation. What is tough for one person may not be tough for another. Having the personal insight into what situations are particularly tough for you will guide you where you make relevant changes in your behaviour. One thing is certain: we can't change what we don't acknowledge.

Finding out your tough stuff

To be able to prioritise what requires greatest attention in improving results in your crucial conversations, rate yourself on the following questions and their corresponding continuums. ...