CHAPTER 3Morals
Want to see a whole room go silent? Ask people to talk about morality – especially their own morality.
When I opened the floor for questions during an early presentation of the moral–ethical–role responsibility triangle, an audience member pounced instantly. “I'm really uncomfortable with the idea of morality,” she said, “and I don't think I'm alone in that. Can we use the word values instead? That seems more relevant to me.”
There is certainly a place for values in discussion of decision-making. Knowing what's important to us and what we prioritize in making decisions, organizing our lives, and building our relationships is clearly relevant – and it's also a heck of a lot more comfortable. Values are interesting and convey plenty about what matters to each of us, but they're also subject to careful curation and the pressure of social desirability. Is this stuff what really matters to me, or does it make me look and feel good to say that these are my values?
Morals are the inverse. They represent a bottom line, often drawn in thick, black Sharpie (at first, anyway). They are, at their core and ours, about what we deem to be right and wrong. Morals escape the flowery language and narrative massage of values statements, even when they are aligned. Values tell us what we stand for – but morals tell us what we absolutely won't stand for.
Lots of people are uncomfortable with the idea of morality as a component of leadership. There's plenty of good reason to be cautious ...