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Duct Tape Parenting: A Less is More Approach to Raising Respectful, Responsible, and Resilient Kids by Vicki Hoefle

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Feeding the Weed: Your Focus Is the Problem

The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire not things we fear.

—Brian Tracy

You get more of what you pay attention to.

—Vicki Hoefle

In my parenting course, I introduce a provocative, and powerful exercise to help parents understand the connection between their child’s behavior, the strategies parents use to deal with this behavior, and how the interaction may be making things worse, not better.

I ask the parents in the audience to shout out all the annoying, aggravating, and maddening behaviors their children exhibit on any given day while I capture them on the left side of a large, blank piece of paper. The goal here is to encourage parents to open up and admit that ...

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