From Lemons to Lemonade: Squeeze Every Last Drop of Success Out of Your Mistakes

Chapter 4. Self-Compassion to Learn from Failure

“IF YOU WANT OTHERS TO BE HAPPY, PRACTICE COMPASSION. IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY, PRACTICE COMPASSION.”

—THE DALAI LAMA

“EVERY ACT OF CONSCIOUS LEARNING REQUIRES THE WILLINGNESS TO SUFFER AN INJURY TO ONE’S SELF-ESTEEM. THAT IS WHY YOUNG CHILDREN, BEFORE THEY ARE AWARE OF THEIR OWN SELF-IMPORTANCE, LEARN SO EASILY; AND WHY OLDER PERSONS, ESPECIALLY IF VAIN OR IMPORTANT, CANNOT LEARN AT ALL.”

—THOMAS SZASZ

When we have lost something that is important to us, it is natural to feel bad. It is what we do about these emotions that is the key to our ability to learn from the failure experience. Before discussing self-compassion, it is important to detail the more common strategies for dealing ...