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Get People to Do What You Want

Book Description

In business, school, romance, or your neighborhood, it is valuable to know what attracts people, what repels them, and what makes them tick. How do people see you? And how do you see others?

In Get People to Do What You Want, you’ll find the practical answers to these questions and in the process, discover how to win people over. You will gain an upper hand in your interaction with others that translates into higher starting salaries, greater productivity, and better relationships in which you are never the victim.

You’ll learn about:

• One-on-one interaction.

• Group dynamics.

• The projection of leadership.

• Instinctual trust and mistrust of others.

• Other elements of human behavior that must be understood to win people over for more than a few moments.

Get People to Do What You Want is the perfect, modern complement to Dale Carnegie’s 1937 classic work on the topic. In fact, you might think of them as the Old and New Testaments of interpersonal skills.

Interrogation is about getting people who do not like you (the enemy) to side with you long enough to get your desired outcome. It means motivating human behavior to create a bond that allows someone who may dislike you to feel obliged to cooperate with you. This book teaches you skills honed in years of interrogation and expanded by use in the business world. By combining these skills with your unique background, you will easily attract the people you want and get rid of the ones you don’t.

Gregory Hartley’s expertise as an interrogator first earned him honors with the United States Army. More recently, it has drawn organizations such as the Navy SEALS and national TV to seek his insights about “how to” as well as “why.” Greg has an illustrious military record, including earning the prestigious Knowlton Award, which recognizes individuals who have contributed significantly to the promotion of Army Intelligence. Greg has provided expert interrogation analysis for all major networks and many cable television channels, as well as NPR. He has been featured on many drive-time radios shows, morning television, and prime print media such as The Washington Post, US Weekly, and Newsday.

Maryann Karinch is the author of 10 books, most of which address human behavior. Her corporate background includes senior communications positions with technology companies. Maryann and Gregory are coauthors of How to Spot a Liar and I Can Read You Like a Book.

Table of Contents

  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Page
  3. Table of Contents
  4. Dedication
  5. Acknowledgements
  6. Introduction
  7. SECTION I - The Dynamics of Human Interaction
    1. CHAPTER 1 - Shared Needs: Belonging and Differentiating
      1. The Hierarchy of Needs
      2. The Drivers: Belonging and Differentiating
      3. Defining a Group—on the Outside Looking In
      4. Human Nature—the Trump Card
      5. The Interrogation Link
    2. CHAPTER 2 - The Dynamics in a Group
      1. Marketers: Masters of Belonging and Differentiating Others
      2. Natural Versus Imposed Leaders, or How a Leader Ascends to Power
      3. Strong or Weak
      4. Styles of Influence
      5. Isolation as a Tactic of Leadership
    3. CHAPTER 3 - Mechanics of Charisma
      1. Step 1: Demonstrate Value
      2. Step 2: Recognize Opportunity
      3. Step 3: Grant an Audience
      4. Step 4: Create Belonging
      5. Step 5: Differentiate Your Target
      6. Charisma From a Distance
      7. The Opposite of Charisma
  8. SECTION II - Tools of the Trade
    1. CHAPTER 4 - Tools to Get What You Want
      1. Questioning
      2. Questioning Strategy
      3. Psychological Levers or Approaches
      4. Body Language/Baselining
      5. Probing
      6. Active Listening
      7. Guilty Knowledge
      8. The Tools in Action
    2. CHAPTER 5 - Human Modeling
      1. The Personal Operating System
      2. Personality Types
      3. What Makes Johnny Run?
      4. The Old Bell Curve: How Typical Are You?
      5. The New Bell Curve: How Unique Are You?
      6. Why the 3-D Bell?
      7. Creating the Bell
      8. Enter the Prototypical
      9. The Who and How of Your Target
  9. SECTION III - Applying the Tools
    1. CHAPTER 6 - Bonding and Fracturing
      1. Talk With Intent
      2. Engage With Intent
      3. Act With Intent
      4. The Dynamic of Bonding
      5. The Dynamic of Fracturing
    2. CHAPTER 7 - Mechanics of Bonding and Fracturing
      1. Making the 3-D Bell Work for You
      2. Paring Options
      3. Matrix of Fulfillment (How to Satisfy Maslow)
      4. The Landrum Factor
      5. Paring Options: How You Do It
    3. CHAPTER 8 - Strategies to Move Your Human
      1. Bonding and Homogenizing
      2. Fracturing to Differentiate or Overdifferentiate
    4. CHAPTER 9 - The Final Factor
      1. Action Plan
      2. Making Maslow Personal
      3. Cashing In
  10. Conclusion
  11. Glossary
  12. About the Authors