Heal to Lead

9Fundamental #1: Integrating Trauma

TALKING ABOUT TRAUMATIC experiences from childhood can be incredibly confronting. Many of us cannot yet see the bridge between our emotional challenges as adults and our childhood trauma. I would go so far as to say that the extent to which we've integrated our trauma might be the number one indicator of leadership efficacy.

“Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings and in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from their selves.”¹

—Bessel A. van der Kolk

THE BODY KEEPS THE SCORE

Historically, most people do not gravitate toward healing because it requires untold levels of courage to rise each day and challenge your own ego, work on the same issues over and over again, and feel everything while the majority of people seem blissfully numb. Actively healing and integrating our past might be the most painful and rewarding process we'll ever encounter in our lives. The most important of the four fundamentals—and the basis for this book—is that integrating the story of emotional wounds is the bedrock of becoming an effective leader.

The Spiral of Healing

Using a spiral to describe the healing process is the most accurate visual I can imagine. Trauma survivors can work ...