Hopping over the Rabbit Hole

Chapter 9 Negotiating Need Not Be War: Leaving Money at the Table

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

—Thomas Edison

When most people think about negotiating, they are uneasy because they’re anticipating something unpleasant. Negotiating involves inherent conflict. The starting point, after all, is that you want something at the expense of the person with whom you’re negotiating. Negotiations to buy a house or car have relatively straight forward dynamics—here is the price at which I’m willing to buy, here is the price at which I’m willing to sell. We can try to find a suitable compromise, but if we can’t, then we’ll just go our separate ways. However, when you’re negotiating a business deal, partnership, or salary, the dynamics become much more complex. Negotiating a partnership, for example, can result in mutually beneficial outcomes. The higher the stakes, the more strategic you need to be in your approach to negotiations.

Movies have romanticized the business of negotiation. I’ll let you in on a little secret: Most negotiations don’t happen at a 60-foot table on the 50th floor in a smoke-filled room. They’re less dramatic. They also happen fast, so if you don’t have a plan in place, you’re going to end up on the short end of the stick. The most important tactic in a business negotiation is to never view the person on the other side of the table as your adversary. If you can arrive at a sensible compromise, ...