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How to Be in a Personal Relationship: Skills for Beginning, Strengthening, and Maintaining an Intimate Personal Relationship by Stephen J. Sampson, Cindy Elrod

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Section I

How to Pay Skilled Attention

Paying quality attention to anything is not easy. It requires skills that need to be practiced so the skills become ingrained in you to the point that you do them without thinking. When you pay skilled attention to someone, you are telling them you care about them. Some might even say that the amount of attention you give someone equates to how much you love them.

For example, you care about your friend, Jim or Sue, and you are spending 10 hours a week doing things with and for them. You tell everyone how much you love your spouse or child, but you spend only five hours per week doing things with and for them. Just think, if you are giving your golf or tennis game more attention per week than your loved ...

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