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How to Be in a Personal Relationship: Skills for Beginning, Strengthening, and Maintaining an Intimate Personal Relationship by Stephen J. Sampson, Cindy Elrod

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Chapter 2

Mental Attending

Mental attending occurs when you are able to focus your senses and your thoughts on the person you are attending to. Previously, we dis-cussed the importance of your senses as it relates to being aware of the world around you. The key word here is aware. Our senses are the mechanisms nature has given us to be aware of the people, things, and events in our environment.

The opposite of being aware is to be ignorant. In other words, we ignore, or do not pay attention to, our surroundings. So when our part-ner accuses us of being insensitive to his/her needs or the needs of the relationship, he/she may really be saying we are not aware of those needs, or we are ignoring them.

The more aware you become of your environment, ...

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