How to Influence Anyone, Anywhere, Every Time

CHAPTER 4PHASE ONE — CONTEXT

The five phases will be the map of the design work. These phases will become so familiar, it will be like driving a car. As a learner driver, it takes time and practice to achieve competence and confidence. The phases will become as natural as any skill you have mastered where unconscious competence is in play. But, first, we must do the hard work of practising step‐by‐step.

First impressions

First impressions! We all know how quickly we judge, assess and evaluate each other. We can instinctively mistrust someone within seconds of meeting them despite having no evidence or data to validate the feeling.

The best communicators consciously work on first impressions — not from an egotistic or self‐serving point of view, but to create the right conditions for success.

How you start counts. I recently watched some of the Ryder Cup golf tournament played outside Rome. The commentators referred to the opening drive from the first tee. ‘If Rory can get this down the middle of the fairway on his opening drive, it will inspire the European team.’

What? How is it possible in a game, where they will collectively be hitting hundreds of shots, that one drive could be of such significance?

The answer is that a strong start sets the tone, creates expectations, and can and does inspire confidence.

We call this nail the opening (NTO). In fact, we see the first eight steps as a full NTO, and it takes some work.

Let's work through each of the 12 steps. Have your working ...