How to Reduce Workplace Conflict and Stress

Chapter Ten

You Can Be Effective or Self-Righteous—Pick One: Five Smart Reasons to Ditch Hostility and Blame

On a fairly regular basis someone will ask me, “Well, I understand your point, Anna, but what if someone really is a jerk?” and proceed to tell me about a person who seems to operate outside the realm of rational behavior. Although their stories are often amusing, the storyteller usually admits that, realistically the “jerk” is a wounded, low-skill individual more deserving of compassion than contempt. Feeling chronically hostile and cynical is a miserable way to live. However, the question is fair and deserves a serious answer.

Is there ever a time when one should “give up” and conclude that the situation is totally the fault of the ...