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How You Can Talk to Anyone in Every Situation by Tim Fearon, Emma Sargent

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HOW YOU CAN TALK TO ANYONE IN EVERY SITUATION
100
when you’re with them keep to the point and don’t waffle
if you have some ideas, present them in ‘bullet point’ form
(not many of them) and leave them to make the decision as
to which one they want
give them facts and make sure your facts are right.
If your boss is more to the right of the range above:
link anything you propose to the impact that it will have on
the people
show willingness to be sociable
show them the ‘bigger picture’ impact
look to build a relationship
be less formal in your approach
give your opinions and enthuse about them.
And all the while, be on the look-out for opportunities to build
rapport through the skills you have developed in matching,
pacing and leading (if you want to remind yourself of these go
back to Chapter 4):
Match gestures, posture, pace and tonality of voice, pausing.
Then think about how your boss best likes to be communi-
cated with. Do they prefer:
face-to-face (one-to-one, or one-to-group)
email
written
telephone?
And match your communication to their preferred method, still
bearing in mind their style. So if they are to the left of the range,
keep your emails short, bullet pointed and focus on the result.
No chatty stuff about what you did at the weekend!
Keeping in touch
Once you’ve got a handle on your boss’s communication style,
your job is to build the best level of rapport that you can with
them. And do remember this is a two-way street.
HOW YOU CAN TALK TO ANYONE AT WORK
101
We meet people sometimes who go on and on about how dif-
ficult they find it to talk to their boss. One of the key messages
they need to understand is that every relationship consists of
two people and therefore both those people are contributing to
it. If there are issues and difficulties, it is very rare that these are
all attributable to only one person.
Most, if not all, issues/problems at work spring from communi-
cation breakdowns of some sort. And we would include lack of
communication as a breakdown.
So the next thing to do, once you’ve developed some level of
rapport remembering that you don’t necessarily have to like
someone to have rapport with them is to set up a system that
keeps you in touch and keeps the communication channels open.
And the best way to do this is to set up regular meetings with
your boss.
For those of you who already have regular 1:1s with your boss,
you’ll appreciate the value of them. For those of you who don’t
and who have never had any, this can seem a bit of a challenge.
The question in your mind is likely to be, ‘How do I put it to
my boss that I want to have regular meetings with them and get
them to agree?’ (Assuming, of course that you think it’s a good
idea! If you don’t, please don’t do it but don’t then complain if
things don’t get any better.)
Later in this chapter were going to give you The 5 Point
Blueprint For Getting Your Point Across (page 108) as
well as The 4-MAT (page 113) for putting together messages
that people listen to. We suggest you use these to structure
your message. But before you look at those, let’s do some very
important groundwork.
Getting your boss to say ‘yes’
All too often people just run into a conversation and blurt out
the thing that they want without thinking it through before-
hand. And it’s easy to understand why that might happen:
they just want to get it off their chest
they’ve been letting it ‘stew’ and the lid of the cooker blows

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