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How You Can Talk to Anyone in Every Situation by Tim Fearon, Emma Sargent

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HOW TO TALK WHEN YOU WANT TO SHINE
181
Never underestimate the power of pacing.
Shine secret 4: the power of your language
Confident people use confident language. And that means
positive language.
It’s a good exercise to listen to your language for a while and find
out what kind of language you are using unconsciously. Listen to
others around you and get used to hearing how they express their
internal levels of confidence in the language they use.
Examples of positive language:
‘We can do this.’ vs ‘We might be able to get it done.’
‘I’m certain I’ll enjoy the party.’ vs ‘I hope it’s going to be OK.’
‘You look great tonight.’ vs I quite like that dress.’ (Beware
flying footwear!)
‘I know we can deliver the solution you need.’ vs ‘Hopefully
we’ll be able to do that for you.’
‘I’m a very reliable person.’ vs ‘I always try to get in on time.’
Words to avoid:
‘Try’ – implies the possibility of failure.
‘But’ – they used to have a saying in one company we worked
for that, ‘Everything before the but is b******t. A great
Emma’s response is worthy of an entry in the annals of pacing.
‘Yes, I can see that. But what if a very, very skilled mechanic got
hold of it and fixed the fault so that it never crashed again. How
would that be?’
‘Ah well, that would be all right’, said Michael. And that was the
last time he ever exhibited any concern about our relationship.

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