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How You Can Talk to Anyone in Every Situation by Tim Fearon, Emma Sargent

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HOW YOU CAN TALK TO ANYONE IN EVERY SITUATION
184
If there’s one thing that is absolutely vital to hang on to in this
structure, it’s the bit about finding out what the other person
needs and wants to happen, and here’s why!
John’s story
John, a financial adviser, met a new client for a meeting and
from the word go could feel there was some kind of tension in
the air. John asked the client if anything was wrong and he said,
‘I’m afraid I’m not going to be your easiest client. You see, I think
deep down that all financial advisers are out to rip me off.’
John decided to go ‘truffle huntingand discovered that on one
occasion, a few years previously, one financial adviser had given
his client a piece of bad advice which had cost him a lot of money.
What had the client done? He had generalised that experience
to cover all financial advisers.
What John had done was to spot the generalisation and instead
of jumping to the defence of financial advisers, questioned the
generalisation to discover what lay ‘under the waterline’.
Now, knowing how his client felt and also knowing that his
negative view stemmed from one instance, John was able to
handle the issue by following a very simple, powerful structure:
listen – remember; ears, eyes and heart
empathise explain that you understand how the person
must feel/have felt
question make sure you have all the information relating
to the issue and an understanding of what the other person
needs and wants
solution propose what you intend to do that meets the
other person’s needs
agree – how things are going to work from now on.

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