4

What Helps, and What Doesn’t

As I noted in the last chapter, some secular/religious mixed marriages go smoothly, while others are painful and difficult, or even go down in flames. When you look closely at hundreds of these marriages, certain patterns begin to emerge—the things that help these marriages succeed, and the things that don’t.

It was tempting to create a Dr. Phil–type quiz for this, but any kind of sliding scale would be misleadingly simple. Instead, I’ll describe the relative importance of each item and let you decide how much it applies to you, if at all.

Nine Unhelpful Things

Let’s start with the bad news: nine things that can make a secular/religious relationship difficult. They aren’t always terminal by any means, but couples ...

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