Leadership is a Relationship

CHAPTER 8Start Leading with Relationships

Relationships are personal and idiosyncratic. It would be disingenuous to pretend that they should all develop in some pat way. That said, we want to offer you a few tactics to try. They're hardly comprehensive, but if you're at a loss for what to do next, try one of these.

At the very end of the chapter, we'll also leave you with our parting thought: a rallying cry for putting people first in the digital world.

Draw Concentration Lines

It's easy to let stress from one part of your life leak into others. Work anxiety is devilishly good at sabotaging time with family and friends, but a fraught situation at home can just as easily wreck that blissful flow state at work. The ability to compartmentalize worry has all kinds of psychological benefits, including the clarity to form stronger relationships. If your mind is elsewhere, your companion will notice. It'll be hard to have a meaningful conversation and learn about their life and emotional landscape. When we compartmentalize stress, we can really be with someone else, even when we have other unresolved problems.

Matt Hasselbeck offers one approach to compartmentalizing. He played quarterback in the NFL for 18 years, including a 10-year run as the starter for the Seattle Seahawks. He was selected to the Pro Bowl (the NFL equivalent of an all-star game) three times, and led the team to its first-ever Super Bowl appearance in 2006. Matt talks about a “concentration line”: you draw a ...