Leadership Isn't For Cowards: How to Drive Performance by Challenging People and Confronting Problems

Chapter 5

How Great Is Denial?

You are in denial when you refuse to accept the reality around you. This reality can include your external situation, the thoughts and feelings you or other people have, and your own capabilities. There is a lot of talk out there about how bad it is to be in denial. Can denial be destructive? Of course it can. Do people destroy themselves and their organizations because of denial? Yes.

There is no doubt that, in at least one area of your life or business, you are in denial. Come on, admit it. If you don’t think you are in denial somewhere in your life, then you are in denial about being in denial. So make it easy on yourself and just admit it. You may be in denial about how poorly your department is doing. You may be in denial about the negative effects of your favorite junk food. Those are examples of destructive denial. Destructive denial is when you refuse to accept reality, and that refusal clearly has destructive consequences.

But perhaps it’s not always so bad. Is there a place for denial? Are there times when denial is your ally and a method to reach goals in spite of challenging circumstances? Are there times that it can be used for good, to achieve great things?

I believe so. I have experienced it personally and I’ve read story after story in which denial, used effectively, served as a driver. Before you get nervous about my promoting some kind of delusional way of leading, consider the rest of this chapter.

Years ago, I had a grad school ...