Be yourself—everyone else is already taken.
I was recently talking with a client who had missed her daughter's dance rehearsal. She felt terrible. I know this client pretty well; we've been working on this pattern of behavior for a little while. It's very tough for her to break. While she knows intellectually that her daughter is more important than work, she has been in the habit of making decisions that don't align to that. She's beginning to recognize this pattern and take ownership, which has been the hardest step for her. She's noticing the direct link to her daughter's behavior and other negative results—based on her decisions and actions. For example, she's realizing that in blaming her ex-husband, she was taking the responsibility off herself. Not to say that he didn't have a part to play, but she realized that it was distracting her from taking full responsibility for her own actions. She used to think, “Wow, how did I get here? Why is this happening to me?” Now she can trace what choices she has made and see the connections clearly. She knows when her actions are not aligning to her truth.
Think back to a time when you did something because someone else wanted you to, even though you really didn't want to do it. You said yes to a project that you didn't have time for, or you agreed to have that tough conversation with a coworker that the boss should have had. Or maybe you gave up an important personal commitment ...