CHAPTER 7

Negotiations

At the root of every tantrum and power struggle are unmet needs.

Marshall Rosenberg, NVC

Life is about one long negotiation. We negotiate every aspect and nuance of our lives; from getting along with our childhood comrades in the neighborhood playground to surfing the various shoals of life—education, marriage, contracts, distribution of power dynamics in families and professions, boundaries with neighbors, individuation with our parents, work promotions, street vendors, and, yes, divorce.

Negotiation is an art form. Negotiation skills come naturally to some, and through experience for the rest of us. Negotiation skills are at the core of peacemaking and mediation. Peacemakers believe that mostly ­everything is negotiable. ...

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