At this moment I am being held captive by a gang of uniformed “attendants” who have put me inside a long aluminum tube, cut off my fresh air supply, wedged me into a cramped space, strapped me to my seat, and told me not to even think about trying to get up until they tell me to. Every time I manage to drift off to sleep, a speaker right above my head starts blaring. They give me a bite of food and a couple of ounces of water that’s supposed to last me for the remaining five hours of my captivity. The only thing that’s keeping me going is my iPod touch. I can plug in my ER 6i noise-blocking earphones and take my mind off my troubles with the help of Bublé, Norah, B.B., Shania, ...
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