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Make Difficult People Disappear: How to Deal with Stressful Behavior and Eliminate Conflict by Monica Wofford

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Chapter 5

PRAISE . . . without Pom-Poms Unless That’s What They Need

imageThe class broke for lunch, and Cybil did something different. She ate in the break room with some of her colleagues and team members. She would normally hibernate in her office and get more work done.

She’d never really thought about her actions, but something that was said in the class made her wonder whether eating alone sent a message different than the one she intended. She really enjoyed working with most members of the team and thought this might be a great way to share that subtle message.

As she looked around the break room, she noted the differences among other the leaders and their teams. Many of the team members seemed to have their hands raised when the trainer called for Entertainers and Relaters. Much of the front line was in fact in those two categories. On the other hand, her colleagues and fellow leaders seemed to fall more into the Organizer and Commander categories.

The trainer spoke about the connection between personality and leadership, and now she was seeing it in vivid technicolor. She wasn’t convinced that all of her fellow leaders were authentic Commanders or Organizers, but she was starting to realize that the culture of the organization had encouraged them to act as if these were their authentic dominant traits in order to get promoted. After all, Commanders got it done and Organizers ...

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