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Managers as Mentors, 3rd Edition by Marshall Goldsmith, Chip R. Bell

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Never Resist Resistance

One of the greatest lessons students of judo learn is never to resist resistance; instead, they learn to divert the energy of resistance to other uses. When you meet resistance with resistance, the barriers become more rigid, the heels of opposition dig deeper into the ground of power, and growth comes to a screeching halt.

Judo teaches students to use their opponent’s energy by joining it and guiding it to a new place. Similarly, in a mentoring situation, you will do better to accept the learner’s resistance and seek to learn from it. Pursue it, solicit it, and get it into the light of day by showing no fear of it. Treat conflict as a neutral force that can be applied to learning. Accept it as unresolved tension that ...

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