3. Think Logically
It’s critical to realize that what makes us angry is not just a certain stimulus but also our interpretation of that stimulus. For this reason, once you’ve begun to calm yourself physically, it’s time to start thinking—to review your situation before you speak or act.
First, admit to yourself that you’re angry and remind yourself that anger distorts your thinking; then get ready to do some cognitive restructuring. As you think through the situation, stay away from absolutes like “never” and “always.” These are detrimental because:
• They are usually inaccurate.
• They make you feel overly justified in your anger.
• They suggest that a situation cannot be changed (and thus that problems cannot be solved).
• When expressed, ...