Mastering Communication at Work, Second Edition: How to Lead, Manage, and Influence, 2nd Edition

CHAPTER 7

DEFENSIVENESS

Defensiveness prevents clear communication. The reaction happens because a person feels threatened. Whether the causes are from inside or outside of an organization, defensiveness presents as rigid, stuck communication. In this chapter, you will learn how to recognize your own defensiveness and how to defuse it in others.

The First Moment: Defensiveness

If your listeners are defensive, your message will most likely be lost. Something has caused them to feel that you, whether intentionally or not, are attacking them or their idea. This emotion causes them to focus on defending their content or character instead of exploring solutions. They are struggling, and it may be your fault.

You may not have set the right expectations. ...