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Mean Girls at Work: How to Stay Professional When Things Get Personal

Book Description

DO YOU WORK WITH A MEAN GIRL? A woman’s field guide to the new frontier of professional development—working with other womenWomen-to-women relationships in the workplace are . . . complicated. When they’re good, they’re great. But when they’re bad, they can ruin your day, your week—even your year. Packed with proven advice from two of today’s leading experts in workplace relationships, this one-of-a-kind guide gives women the tools they need to navigate difficult situations unique to women-to-women relationships—whether with a boss, a colleague, a client, or an employee.

Table of Contents

  1. Cover Page
  2. Mean Girls At Work : How to Stay Professional when Things Get Personal
  3. Copyright Page
  4. Dedication
  5. Contents
  6. Acknowledgments
  7. Introduction
    1. Why We Wrote This Book
    2. Who Needs This Book
    3. How to Read This Book
  8. Chapter 1 The Different Faces of Mean
    1. What Is a Mean Girl?
    2. Our “Don't Go There” Process
    3. Here Is the “Don’t Go There” Process
    4. Coffee Break: Silent Weapons Women Use
  9. Chapter 2 Meanest of the Mean
    1. She’s an Ice Princess
    2. She Sees All Women as Adversaries
    3. She Puts You Down Publicly
    4. Coffee Break: How to Take a Mean Girl’s Behavior Less Personally
    5. She Gives Harsh and Demeaning Feedback
    6. She’s Extremely Argumentative
    7. She Solicits Personal Information and Uses It Against You
    8. Coffee Break: You Don’t Have to Suffer Alone—When to Reach Out for Professional Help
    9. She’s Cold and Rejecting
    10. In Her Own Words: She Sabotages You
    11. She Wants to Get Rid of You Because You’re Different
    12. She Hacks into Your Private Communications (Twitter, Facebook, and E-mail), Then Uses Them Against You
    13. Coffee Break: Developing Your Mean Girl Detector (Mean-o-Reader)
    14. Just Between Us Girls
  10. Chapter 3 Very Mean
    1. Personal Strategies for Coping with Mean Girls
    2. In Her Own Words: She’s a Vicious Gossip
    3. She Belittles Your Accomplishments
    4. She Tells Lies About You to Others
    5. Coffee Break: Why Some Women Cannot Admit to Their Bad Behavior
    6. She Speaks as if You Aren’t in the Room
    7. She Publicly Makes Fun of Something You Confided to Her
    8. She Has a Negative Reaction when You Receive Praise
    9. She Talks Down to You
    10. Coffee Break: Don’t Forget to Breathe
    11. She Praises You Publicly but Puts You Down Privately
    12. She’s Extremely Friendly, Then Extremely Cold
    13. She Constantly Disagrees with You in Public
    14. She Can’t Forgive a Mistake You Made
    15. Coffee Break: Could You Drop a Pound of Resentment?
    16. She Agrees to Back You, but Doesn’t
    17. Just Between Us Girls
  11. Chapter 4 Passively Mean
    1. You Overhear Her Gossiping About You
    2. Coffee Break: How Gossip Hurts
    3. She Excludes You from a Meeting
    4. In Her Own Words: She Excludes You from an Important E-mail
    5. She Cuts You Out of a Project
    6. She Fails to Give You Important Information
    7. Coffee Break: Resisting the Temptation to Counterattack
    8. She Goes Behind Your Back and Says She Can Do a Better Job
    9. She Gives You and Another Woman the Same Assignment
    10. She Says Yes when She Really Means No
    11. Coffee Break: Strike when You’ve Cooled Off—Not in the Heat of the Moment
    12. She Says Things That Sound Good but Feel Bad
    13. Just Between Us Girls
  12. Chapter 5 Doesn’t Mean to Be Mean
    1. She Spreads Rumors
    2. Coffee Break: The No Gossip Diet
    3. She Just Doesn’t Do Her Job, Making You Look Bad
    4. She’s Chronically Late
    5. She Continually Dumps Her Work on You
    6. She Is Less Organized than You Are
    7. Coffee Break: Reduce Her Abuse by Setting Limits
    8. She’s Always Depressed
    9. She Uses Health Problems to Get Attention
    10. She’s Very Moody
    11. You’ve Helped Her, but She Won’t Help You
    12. Coffee Break: It’s Not Fair
    13. She Excludes You from an Important Professional Decision
    14. She’s Overly Controlling
    15. She Flaunts Her Social Status
    16. Coffee Break: The Comparing Game
    17. In Her Own Words: She’s Jealous of Your Looks
    18. She’s Jealous when You Get Engaged or Married
    19. She’s Jealous of Your Youth
    20. Just Between Us Girls
  13. Chapter 6 Doesn’t Know She’s Mean
    1. She Bosses You Around
    2. She Constantly Offers Unsolicited Advice
    3. Coffee Break: Before You Offer Advice
    4. She Critiques Your Appearance
    5. In Her Own Words: Her Jokes Are Hurtful
    6. Coffee Break: Appreciating the Power of Words
    7. She Infringes on Your Territory, Does Your Job, and Makes You Look Bad
    8. She Takes Credit for Your Ideas
    9. Coffee Break: When to Take a Conversation Offline
    10. She Competes with You for the Boss’s Attention
    11. She Always Has to Be Right
    12. She’s More Experienced than You Are and Challenges Your Authority
    13. Just Between Us Girls
  14. Chapter 7 She Brings Out Your Mean
    1. She Thinks She’s Better and Smarter than She Really Is
    2. She’s a Nonstop Talker
    3. She Asks Too Many Questions
    4. Coffee Break: Accepting What We Don’t Like
    5. She Talks to Her Friends and Family All Day Instead of Doing Her Job
    6. She’s Rude to You
    7. She’s a Drama Queen
    8. She Always Favors the Newest Hire
    9. In Her Own Words: She Gets Promoted Because She Sleeps with the Boss
    10. She Wants to Gossip with You About Others
    11. Coffee Break: Why Gossip Is So Delicious
    12. Just Between Us Girls
  15. Chapter 8 Group Mean
    1. A Workplace Clique Excludes You
    2. A Workplace Clique Gossips About Someone and Wants You to Join In
    3. Two or More Women Whisper when You Walk By
    4. In Her Own Words: A Workplace Clique Harasses You
    5. The Pack Attack—You’re Attacked by a Group of Coworkers
    6. Just Between Us Girls
  16. Conclusion: Mean Girl Cheat Sheet and Parting Words
  17. Resources