3.10 BEING ASSERTIVE WHILE AVOIDING CONFLICT
‘In difficult and desperate cases, the boldest counsels are the safest’
—Titus Livius (59 BC–17 AD)
There is a large body of work on assertiveness that I will not reproduce here, 148 but the basic process and skills can be easily covered with an NLP approach. The linguistic part of NLP means that we know how to use precise language, avoid ‘mind reading’ other people’s intent, and avoid meta-model distortions such as gross exaggeration. Using these techniques we can build confidence so that we tackle situations early and head-on by practising assertive behaviours.
3.10.1 Finding the sweet spot between submissive and aggressive behaviour
Submissive behaviour is appealing because it seems to avoid ...