Not Everyone Gets a Trophy, 3rd Edition

CHAPTER FOURPRACTICE STRONG HIGHLY ENGAGED LEADERSHIP

I do NOT want to be left alone to figure things out on my own. No thanks. I mean, do you really have time for me to make a bunch of unnecessary mistakes? Is that really the best way for me to learn? Why not point me in the right direction, give me some instructions, help me get rolling. That's how to set me up for success.

—Twentysomething

A senior private equity managing director told me of a parent calling to complain that her son was working too many hours. I asked how he reacted to this call. “I just listened and tried to be polite. I didn't tell her that her son was going to make ten thousand dollars less for every minute she kept me on the phone. But I did the math in my head.” He went on, “This is ridiculous. For one thing, my parents never in a million years would have considered calling my boss when I was in my first job out of college. I can't even imagine that. They didn't even know my boss's name. And I would have been mortified if my boss got a call from my parents.”

I have heard this story over and over again, in various forms. The details change, but the thrust of the story is always the same. There's no doubt that parents are far more heavily involved in the lives and careers of their young adult children than those of previous generations. College professors and administrators report that the parents are more involved in every aspect of a student's journey through their education. Parents are often consulted ...