Chapter Three

In-groups and out-groups

Let’s start with some good news: you probably already have the foundation for building authentic relationships across differences. You likely treat people with respect, listen, empathize, and stick with your friends through disagreements and challenging times. We are also fairly certain that your friends, colleagues, and family members do, as well. The problem is not that you and your peers are unfamiliar with healthy behavior. The problem is that you and they, like the rest of us, may be limiting your best behaviors to what we call the “in-group,” or the people we know and like best. An in-group might be people who went to the same university you did, people from your hometown, or, more problematically, ...

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