My two daughters and I were lying on my bed, looking at the ceiling.
“Dad, I have to tell you a thing. Promise you won’t get mad,” said Delaney (6), with very serious eyes.
“Oh jeez, Laney, so dramatic,” said Erin (9).
“I plan to be furious,” I said. “Out with it.”
“I . . . I kind of got into a God fight in the cafeteria yesterday.”
I pictured kids barricaded behind overturned cafeteria tables lobbing Buddha-shaped meatballs, Flying Spaghetti Monsters, and Jesus tortillas at each other.
“What’s a ‘God fight’?”
“Well, I asked Courtney if she could come over on Sunday, and she said, ‘No, my family will be in church of course.’ And I said, ‘Oh, what church do you go to?’ And she said she didn’t know, and she asked ...