CHAPTER THREE

Pleaser Power Plays

Most of us realize that success is a team sport. Pleasers go beyond believing this adage; they live by it. As Pleasers work their way up the professional ladder, many of them strive to bring out the best in their colleagues. Unfortunately, some Pleasers prove to be better at supporting others than at supporting themselves on the job. Until they understand the way that their family system may have conditioned them to look outside themselves for validation, Pleasers may be vulnerable to being “played” by Charmers and Commanders who dangle approval in front of them like a carrot on a stick.

In addition, Pleasers face a special challenge when it comes to managing up. Obviously, we all want to please the boss. Add ...

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