Provoke

CHAPTER 5Birth of a Provocation

“Don't provoke!”

This simple and clear admonishment was often heard around the Tuff household when Geoff and his five siblings were growing up. With a father who had a rich stable of go-to phrases passed down through generations of child-rearing Brits, the Tuff kids came to intuit what exactly was behind such short-and-sweet commands. This one was used primarily for the younger Tuffs when they were trying to get a rise out of their older brothers and sister.

Our guess is that similar scenes play out in many other households: a younger child takes action just to see what will happen. It could be a poke, or a verbal taunt, or the crafty hiding of a cherished item. Each one is intended just to see how far things can be pushed before a clobbering is administered.

That's how we learn about limits as kids – with our siblings, our parents, our friends, and even strangers. We try something and see what happens. And then we experience the results and learn what to do in the future.

For some reason, this inductive approach to learning wears off as we age. We grow up, learn lessons, and are taught generalizable rules. We make assumptions and rely on analogy to make use of experiences from the past, intuitively looking for ways to cut corners when making decisions. Gone is the natural instinct to act just to see what will happen – to provoke. It's replaced by analysis, deduction, and a whole lot of thinking. That's a really bad character trait when you ...