Psychology of Financial Planning

Chapter 8Sources of Money Conflict: Working with Couples and Families

Money is often a source of conflict in relationships. In fact, it is quite uncommon to have a couple agree on every aspect of their financial lives. When relationships are strained by money conflicts, it can have a negative impact on a client's financial and emotional well‐being and on the quality and longevity of the relationship. In their extreme, conflicts around money can threaten relationships and have a negative impact on a client's financial health. When partners have conflicting money scripts, financial conflict is inevitable.

Since money is a relatively taboo topic in our culture, many couples are married before they find out how different their individual financial beliefs, behaviors, and goals may be. Around the time they are sharing their goals for the future – career goals, family planning goals, and so on – couples should be having discussions about their financial values and goals. However, many couples neglect this topic of discussion, often because they haven't put much thought into it individually. However, each partner is coming into the relationship with their history around money and their own assumptions, values, and goals. In many cases opposites attract, perhaps in the partners' attempt to create a sense of balance around money or to heal certain parts of themselves. For example, an anxious saver might be attracted to a partner who is more fun‐loving, or a person who is great at enjoying ...