Quick Confidence

3Rebalance Power Dynamics

“Excuuuuse meeeee!” an executive bellowed loudly, while pointing at his mug.

We were standing in a large, noisy conference room with at least a dozen other people swarming around before a big meeting. I continued laying out my notes since I was getting ready to present momentarily.

“Helloooo?” he looked directly at me. “A little help? This milk … is off.”

Gah! With an uncomfortable smile, I said, “I'll let the receptionist know.” Almost immediately, he smacked his head, sheepish, and said, “Oh, I thought you were the receptionist.”

Yeah, buddy, I could tell. But nope! In fact, that day I was presenting the findings of a global study I lead-authored for one of the largest companies in the world!

By his quick calculations, my power didn't match his. And it's not just me. For plenty of historically marginalized or underestimated people, they've been on the receiving end of people “rounding down” in terms of their stature, position, or degree, where people are making a mental shortcut that you are permitted less or carry a smaller designation.

This is only one example of the many moments when we can rebalance the power in the room, to change the way the scales are tipping, to correct a flawed perception, to reassert our role or place.

Of course, we all tend to be more cognizant of harm or damage that's overt: like people yelling slurs at someone in the street, someone being openly anti-Muslim as a blanket rule, threats or acts of violence against someone ...