Relationship Grit

Introduction

Several years ago, I spoke to Angela Duckworth, who had popularized the term “grit” through her TED talk, book, and research. Grit was at the forefront of discussions I had with my clients in sports, business, and healthcare. Everyone wanted to talk about hiring people with grit, developing grit in their people, and having more grit themselves. But as someone who helps leaders build stronger teams, I kept thinking about team grit. I wondered what makes a team gritty. What are the characteristics of teams that don't give up? As Angela and I discussed her research on grit, I asked her if she had done any research on grit and teams. I told her I had a pretty good idea about what makes team members fight for—instead of against—one another, but I wanted to know if there was research that backed up my ideas and experiences. She said she hadn't done any research on that, but it was a fascinating idea.

I told my wife about my conversation with Angela and she said she didn't need research to know what made a team gritty. My wife said that it's all about relationships and all we had to do was look at our relationship and how we have stayed together through all the ups and downs over the years to understand team grit. A team is made up of people, and the relationships they have with one another will determine what kind of grit they have as a team.

My wife and I then started talking about our relationship and how it was a miracle that we were still together. I was a big jerk ...