Results Through Relationships: Building Trust, Performance, and Profit Through People

Chapter 8. Tell Yourself the Truth (and Get Others to Help You)

Going to a new level of success requires your willingness to solicit honest feedback and your ego's willingness to accept it.

While ego can drive job performance and career achievement, it can also stand in the way of self-honesty and effectiveness. If your ego goes unmanaged—if you allow it to dictate your thoughts and actions—then you are at risk of filtering out any negative feedback and only hearing the positive. Throughout this chapter, you will see how easy it is for all of us to practice self-deception. While it can manifest itself in myriad ways, the primary culprit behind self-deceptive behavior is usually an unmanaged ego.

People whose egos shield them from the truth of their shortcomings are incapable of forging deeper work relationships. Not only are they incapable of taking these relationships to higher, more productive levels, they may also lack the capacity to sustain them at all. The following example illustrates the profound impact "ego blindness" can have on relationships.

As senior manager in an industry-leading company, John was a talented, knowledgeable executive whose management style refl ected his background as a high school football star. Like the most stereotypical of bullying coaches, John believed in management through intimidation. For this reason, it wasn't unusual for him to express his displeasure by yelling at direct reports. Even worse, at times, he would lose his temper in client meetings. ...