Say More About That

12Pushing Back and Speaking Up – A Pep Talk

In this last chapter of Part II, I want to leave you with some words of encouragement and a bit of perspective to help you speak up and advocate for those around you. I also am a big believer that we need to understand what we should expect for all the labor that we may need to give to something. At this point in this book it is pretty clear that labor is part of speaking up. Whether it is getting out of our own way or figuring out the right words and approach, there is some work involved. So if you are going to put in all that labor, let's cover what some of your expectations should be.

When I am engaging with folks, I look for five main boundaries for me to be willing to engage in the discussion. These are things I can commit to giving to each engagement and I expect them back. They are:

1. You deserve to be heard – Heard in this context to me means that you should feel welcomed to speak up (even if you are nervous); you should not be met with shutting down or other behavior that indirectly messages that you should be quiet.
2. You deserve to be respected – Respect in this context means that you are not at risk of physical harm or verbal mistreatment or abuse from being a part of the dialogue.
3. You deserve to ask questions and get clarity – Asking clarifying questions is important to any growth conversation where there is an exchange of ideas.
4. You deserve to have your ideas and contributions respectfully acknowledged – Having your ideas ...