Say More About That

20Disrespected: What If Someone Is Blatantly Mistreating Me or Crossing a Line?

Blatant and intentional disrespectful behaviors are sometimes the hardest to speak up against because they can catch us off guard. We generally expect that people will not be deliberately rude or inappropriate with us, so when it happens we may find ourselves at a loss for words. Most of us know blatant disrespect when it happens; we feel it in our bodies – a racing heart, anger, sweaty palms, or whatever your body does to let you know someone has crossed a line. A lot of us shrink. We stuff it down, we boil under our skin, and we rant about it to our friends, sometimes spouting off what we wish we had said. Let's explore a couple of blatantly disrespectful encounters and some techniques to address them.

My friend Lauren was walking to her car from the mall one afternoon. As she passed a group of men, one of them started catcalling her. “Aye, shorty. You fine as hell. Why don't you come bring that body over here?” She looked at him directly and said, “Really? Is that what we are doing today? Harassing women on the way to their cars? Do you talk to the women you care about like that?” The man stopped cold, lowered his voice and immediately apologized, “I'm sorry. You're right. My bad, no disrespect.” Lauren continued on to her car.

Confidently addressing inappropriate behavior usually works. In this scenario, Lauren didn't miss a beat. She was in her own neighborhood and felt confident speaking up ...