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Smart Girls Screw Up Too

Book Description

Own your screw ups, get inspired and create the life you want.

Sick of chasing the perfect relationship, career or bank balance? Tired of feeling like you’re never quite ‘enough’? You’re not alone. And it’s time to do something about it. Smart Girls Screw Up Too, is THE no-nonsense guide for a generation of women who secretly muse about what might be possible in their careers, health and relationships but don’t know where to start or are too afraid to.

When a clusterf**k of screw ups found author Bella Zanesco burnt out, depressed and with a broken soul, she knew something – perhaps everything – had to change. But what? Her first ports of call were the usual Band-Aids: Tinder, work and shopping. But soon, she realised those weren’t going to work. If she wanted to fix this thing, she was going to need to take extreme measures.

And so she began the journey that would transform her from ‘Sad Girl’ to ‘Smart Girl’; a journey that meant taking up all the things that she’d been told were good for her but she had always been too afraid, too ‘busy’, or too lazy to try. Cue everything from green juices to setting boundaries to quitting her job to culling her friends.

Delivered with no-holds-barred honesty, humour and compassion, Smart Girls Screw Up Too brings together:  the latest research into gut science, neuroscience and epigenetics; ancient tribal wisdom; interviews with global game changers; and insights from the author’s own two-year study of over 2000 women. Paired with a Personal Life Audit, you will get immediate clarity about where to start when seeking purpose, vitality and love. And, together with Bella – the wise but ass-kicking bestie you wish you’d known earlier – you’ll embark on a series of simple daily challenges that will not only get you to the root causes of why you think, feel and behave as you do, but see you making changes that stick.

No matter what your starting point, you are capable of creating the life you want NOW.

Table of Contents

  1. Prelude: Those two little words
  2. Introduction: Why screwing up is a really good thing
  3. Part I: The Foundations: Clarity: Who am I and what do I want?
    1. Chapter 1: Feelings and emotions: Welcome to the upside: please leave your umbrella at the door
      1. Ground zero: where it all began
      2. I’m a needy b**ch — yay me!
      3. Electric Fencing 101
      4. How to free up energy to arse-haul to the upside
      5. On how to feel good about meeting your needs …
    2. Chapter 2: Aligned decision making: Rediscovering your inner Smart Girl
      1. Hey Stranger, I haven’t seen you in a while …
      2. Smash and grab
      3. Accepting the bad choices so you can make better ones
      4. Who would I even be without my status, the pay cheque and my flashy title?
      5. Different decisions mean a different life
      6. Naming your touchstones
    3. Chapter 3: Personal beliefs and self-confidence: The world is a scary place. Oh, hang on … it’s not
      1. It all comes down to your beliefs
      2. Your Core Limiting Belief comes from your Source Wound
      3. A colour-by-numbers approach to alter your beliefs
      4. Your beliefs = your reality
      5. Your thoughts reinforce your beliefs
      6. What the world tells you to think isn’t always right for you
      7. Fun fact: productive and pure thoughts make you healthy
      8. Shitty truth: our thoughts affect our and our offspring’s genes
      9. Getting started to rewire your brain
    4. Chapter 4: Vision and purpose: What the hell am I even building here?
      1. Life is short: die with memories, not dreams
      2. Life is short: do something for others
      3. Three approaches to uncover your vision
      4. The elements that make up a holistic vision
      5. Chase your tennis balls
      6. Now what?
  4. Part II: The Inside Job: Connection: Creating a thriving mind, body and spirit
    1. Chapter 5: Physical health and energy levels: Why yoga rocks
      1. The wakeup call
    2. Chapter 6: Mental health and resilience: Silence the verbally incontinent b**ch in your head
      1. When the halo of the holiday wears off at arrivals
      2. Learning how to be the calm in the storm
      3. Am I doing meditation right?
      4. So how do I fix that?
      5. You want the celebrity stories, right?
    3. Chapter 7: Gut health and intuition: I think my sixth sense is broken
      1. What is irregular poop?
      2. How do we get irregular poop?
      3. Your gut and your brain are kissing cousins
      4. Your gut is your second brain
      5. Your gut instinct only works when your gut is healthy
      6. Your spine alignment matters too
    4. Chapter 8: Hormones and moods: Enter the red tent
      1. When things change
      2. Oh good, back here again
      3. Welcome to mainstream medicine
      4. I heart my period
      5. Meeting yourself: the four phases of your menstrual cycle
      6. So now you know, you choose
    5. Chapter 9: Yin and Yang energy balance: How do I wake up my Braveheart?
      1. You are a feeling machine that thinks, not vice versa
      2. Give your Braveheart the talking stick
      3. 30 centimetres can be a really long way, but it doesn’t have to be
      4. Be kind to yourself first and then be kind to others
      5. The gifts of self-compassion
  5. Part III: The Outside Job: Confidence: Unapologetically being who you want to be in the world
    1. Chapter 10: Home and places: Change what I see to change me
      1. Back to basics
      2. Memories link us to the upside
      3. But then there was work …
      4. Exploring the path to minimalism
      5. Quitting the addiction to social media
      6. Is nature the catalyst to help us reconnect to ourselves?
      7. Curate your environments to serve your needs
      8. I don’t have a stuff problem; I don’t know where to live
    2. Chapter 11: Friendships and support networks: Set up your tribe
      1. Deciding who’s in your inner circle
      2. Who else do I need in my life?
    3. Chapter 12: Leisure and play: Relearning how to play
      1. Dance is a stress buster
      2. So why is dance so effective?
      3. Unleashing your inner child
      4. So when did we stop playing and why?
      5. Dance out all that junk
      6. Uncovering the unexpected benefits of play
      7. The opposite of play is depression
      8. If you don’t want to play there’s a reason
      9. Play helps you solve problems faster
    4. Chapter 13: Creativity and learning: Stage a creative coup
      1. So what exactly is creativity anyway?
      2. Innovation is just creativity in her big girl pants
      3. How do you get into flow?
      4. Boom. You’ve got your flow trigger
      5. What’s flow going to do for me?
      6. Flow is another way to silence that verbally incontinent b**ch
      7. Turning your back on creativity isn’t the answer
      8. Embracing a creative mindset
      9. How do I figure out where my creative passion is?
    5. Chapter 14: Work and finances: How to create a career you don’t want to escape from: a Q&A
      1. Argh … I don’t want to turn up to work on Mondays
      2. What’s best for me: money, meaning or both?
      3. On how to uncover your passion and/or purpose
      4. Sustaining work–life balance
      5. What to do when it’s time to take a break
      6. The ins and outs of creating a side-hustle
      7. On choosing your own business
    6. Chapter 15: Relationships and family: The L word
      1. Whose fault is it then?
      2. So, where are they?
      3. The four steps to attracting a committed relationship
      4. How to stop breaking plates when conflict arises
      5. That baby thing
  6. Conclusion: The Golden Glue
  7. Where to seek help if you have mental health challenges
  8. Further reading, learning and thinking list
  9. Where to next?
  10. Acknowledgements
  11. About the author
  12. Index
  13. EULA