Speak with Confidence

Chapter 5Navigating the Obstacles, Part I

Standing on the beach with a surfboard in hand, I knew how to read the water. To the uninitiated, it looked like perfect waves waiting for the taking, but I knew about the hidden dangers—rip tides and currents, the raw sewage pipe, and spiny sea urchins (I'd found one the previous year the hard way—I don't ever want to do that again). Yes, I was able to catch a lot of great waves but only because I understood the dangers and obstacles.

I could offer you a bunch of temporary solutions, so you can feel more confident when you speak (e.g. “Imagine everyone is in their underwear”—one of the dumbest pieces of advice BTW), but I'm more interested in helping you be more confident by determining your identity. It's difficult work, and there are a lot of obstacles to navigate.

In this and the next chapter, I'm going to chart a route through the six biggest ones my clients have faced. This is going to be practical stuff, so hang on for a great ride!

1. Imposter Syndrome

You've made it “into the room” but can't shake the belief that you don't belong there and that everyone else does. You're afraid of being found out and exposed for the fraud you know you are. Never mind the fact that you have all the education, skills, and experience: You just know you don't belong. So, is it any surprise that your confidence evaporates when it's time to give your presentation? In Chapter 3, I connected this with a High Improvement Misalignment, so if that's ...